Rated: R
Runtime: 1 hr 31 mins
Cast:
- Mark Wahlberg
- Zooey Deschanel
- John Leguizamo
- Ashlyn Sanchez
- Betty Buckley
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Review - "The Happening"
Reviewer: Cori Vella
Rating:
For a movie entitled The Happening, very little worthwhile actually happens. Billed as M. Night Shyamalan's first R-rated picture, The Happening (which opened in Friday the 13th in the United States) is a brain dead effort that attempts to reproduce the earlier success of The Sixth Sense but ends up more in the ridiculous The Village territory.
The movie opens with the immediate problem: people begin committing suicide en masse in Central Park. It is suspected to be a bioterrorist attack, as the pandemic has very distinctive symptoms. The victims first become disoriented and speak gibberish, then freeze, move backwards, and then commit the last act they ever commit. Their own deaths. The incident is isolated, at first, only to parks, then spreads rapidly throughout the entire northeast.
During this crisis, Elliot Moore, a science teacher, escapes the city with his wife Alma (Zooey Deschanel), friend and co-worker Julian (John Leguizamo), and Julian's daughter Jess (Ashlyn Sanchez) on a train to stay with Julian's mother. The train ride doesn't go as planned, as all communications cease, and the conductor has no choice but to stop the train.
Stuck in a rural town somewhere in Pennsylvania, they learn that the bioagent is spreading closer and closer. They can't take the chance of staying where they are, but without a car, they are reliant on hitching rides with town locals. Elliot begs a ride off a hot-dog-loving botanist (who is, sadly, the best character in this sad attempt at a horror movie) and his wife, but Julian would rather head to Princeton in hopes of finding his wife alive. Unable to talk Julian out of it, Elliot and Alma take Jess with them in the opposite direction.
Poor Julian. He never had a chance.
The hot-dog-loving botanist gives a strange theory to Elliot about the occurrences which, at first, Elliot discredits (who wouldn't? The guy is obviously missing a screw). But as the infirmity spreads and follows in a distinct pattern, Elliot comes to realize that the botanist is right. No terrorists at all. The problem is with the plants — they are giving off neurotoxins that switch off a vital inhibition in the human brain. The larger the population, the more likely that the plants will unleash their idea of damage control. It's a race to stay in a small enough group to stay alive.
Other than more than a few gruesome suicides, I'm not quite sure where the R-rating comes into play. I've seen Disney movies that are scarier (you know Ursula gave you nightmares, admit it). M. Night Shyamalan is a one-trick pony. When is he going to realize that audiences aren't going to fall for the same thing every time? Start out with something that seems one way, then come off with an oddball "real" problem that no one "ever" would have guessed and hit them with it. It worked in The Sixth Sense — it failed miserably with The Village, and The Happening was almost just as laughable.
Believe it or not, the silly "love the plants or else they'll kill you" message was not the worst part of the movie. That honor goes to the wooden, B-movie, passionless acting given by Mark Wahlberg and Zooey Deschanel. With bigger names like those, M. Night Shyamalan should be even more ashamed that he didn't work well with what he had.
If you want a laugh, go see The Happening at a dollar theatre. If you want a truly good horror movie, look elsewhere.
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